Jimmy Squarefoot on the Isle of Man

I came over all nostalgic this week when I flew from the Isle of Man with Flybe to Manchester and it wasn’t just the  Manx Airlines ‘Fare Cracker’ I was missing.

The first thing to drive you up Barrule is the website. Enter your location and destination and the fare comes up at around £40 each way.

Woohoo, bargain! And then you go through the rest of the process and by the time you get to the final payment its like £190. WTF happened to the forty quid you quoted me you robbing shites?

It would be far better to quote the genuine price so that although customers would still feel robbed at least they won’t feel conned as well!

Next thing to have me pining for the good old days of Manx Airlines was the return trip. We had flown in to Manchester after a long haul flight and were booked on the 10:20am back to the Isle of Man.

Landing early we headed for the Flybe desk and asked if there were any empty seats on the first flight to the island. Of course there was and they would be happy to change our tickets for a small fee of £30 each plus any price difference.

Being knackered and just wanting to get home I ask her for a price and after hitting a few keys the computer says “£131 each please.” Remember, that’s on top of the £190 each we’ve already paid!

Now I know they have to stop people booking the cheap seats only to then ask if they can ‘change flights’ and I also understand that someone might turn up at the last minute and be prepared to pay some ridiculous fee for a ticket but there is no need to be so black and white.

They could have asked if we had proof we have been in the air for the last 12 hours or so. They could have offered us 2 seats on standby so that if the mystery millionaires don’t come rushing to the counter at the last minute to buy up the remaining seats, we could have got on.

After all, that then frees up 2 seats on the next flight which they then have a chance to sell.

Anyway, I tell them to stick it thanks, ‘we’ll wait’ and go to check in the ONE piece of luggage we took between us.

“This bag weighs 22 kilo Sir and the allowance is 20″

“Yes but the bag is between the two of us and together we are allowed 40k”

“Doesn’t work like that Sir. Would you like to pay the access or remove some items?”

Not been in the best of moods after being quoted silly money to get home 2 hours early, I elect to remove some items. We drop to the back of the queue and open it up. On the top are 2 huge beach towels and under that, the beach bag, perfect.

I put the towels in the beach bag, throw it on my shoulder and progress to the weigh in yet again. Placing it on a different set of scales to previously, it weighs in at under 16k. I’m thinking there is no way this bag on my shoulder weighs 10lb and sit it on top of the luggage to check total weight.

19.1 Kilo in total.

The smug bastard who had told us we were overweight was on the next desk so I shout him over. He then starts saying we must have taken more items out.

Yes mate, i’ve stuffed 2 pair of jeans and a hairdryer down my shorts!

I mean seriously, it was laughable. I was wearing shorts, t-shirt and flip flops and the partner was wearing similar attire, just where the hell did he think we had all this gear stashed?

As he argues and I pack the beach bag and towels back in the suitcase I remembered years ago arriving at the airport early and how helpful Manx Airlines had been in switching my flight.

I remembered the time I was delayed in Corfu for 12 hours and was panicking as I rang them only to be told not to worry and to just go to the desk when I finally landed.

And I somehow couldn’t see a Manx Airlines check in desk arguing the toss over the weight of a bag of sugar.

Staff at Manx Airlines understood island life, or at least it appeared that way to me. They were proud to be flying the Manx flag and it always tickled me when they did the announcements in English and then Manx for no other purpose than to remind the passengers that this is a Manx airlines flight.

To Flybe, the islander is just another passenger on one of their many scheduled flights. They don’t care whether you like them or not, if you don’t pay their blown up fees then someone else will.

Like everyone else, I used to moan about Manx Airlines but you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone!